Things That Make You Go Hmmm…

A lot has happened over the last 2 weeks in our area. Going to school has not been one of those until today.

Our state and our community has spent two weeks preparing for and making decisions that could have potentially affected the safety and livelihood of everyone that we know. We’ve thankfully had moments of relief but we’ve also spent time recuperating.

The severity of Hurricane Irma was felt differently from person to person. Which is why today, I’ll share a few things that I’ve personally noticed, questioned, and taken away from my first hurricane experience.

1. The hurricane wasn’t the worst of it.

If you’ve been on the Earth for a few years, you’ve probably witnessed some type of trauma or natural disaster (hopefully from afar). In many scenarios, we tend to learn of those devastating events around the immediate time that they’re occurring. It looks terrible and then life moves our attention elsewhere.

What Irma taught me is that if you’re in an area that has the luxury of knowing ahead of time that you will be impacted, the time leading up to and after the event are equally as terrifying. The week before the hurricane, while we were thankful that we had time and means to prepare, actually created the most anxiety for me.

Each day was spent preparing for a worst-case scenario. Boarding windows, gathering food and water for the unforeseeable future, leaving your home with the few things that are most important to you, and second guessing your decision as to whether or not you were keeping your family safe as the winds changed-was enough to make my stomach tense the entire time.

Then it actually arrived. Our day of was spent waiting for the electricity to go out, the loss of communication to loved ones, dealing with the uncertainty of the severity as the winds increased and the thuds continued. Continued angst.

Not having lived through a hurricane or natural disaster before, it seemed like if we made it through the storm, then that would be it. Not true.

I’ve heard the word “aftermath”, but didn’t quite understand the totality of what it meant. It literally means a continuation of the same anxiety inducing behaviors and actions that led up to the event, but without the normal activities that we take for granted.

Still no food on the grocery store shelves. Still no gas. Still no power. Still limited communication. But also, destruction to clean up. No garbage pick-up. No warm water for showers. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Lesson Learned: Practicing self-care leading up to and after a traumatic event is just as important as doing so during it.

2. The world keeps going.

There were times that I was glued to online and social media. Waiting for updates to see if the storm’s path had changed. Trying to see what people in the path prior to us were experiencing. Or simply trying to work to take my mind off of it for a moment.

In those same moments I saw pictures of coffee, people complaining about not so significant events, etc.

I couldn’t help but think, “Are you serious? Some people are literally fearing that they won’t make it through the next few hours and that’s what you think is important?”

But then it hit me. At any moment, there are always people having those feelings.

Lesson Learned: Continue trying to be empathetic but on a larger scale.

(*I’m aware that social media is selective. Different post.)

3. I really have nothing to complain about-ever.

For almost a week after the storm, our home did not have electricity. We didn’t have access to the healthy meals that we were used to, I wasn’t able to shower and dry my hair (you’d be surprised what a simple morale booster that is), and we didn’t sleep in our own home.

The feelings of gratitude of being alive and unharmed were certainly present-but I honestly noticed that they became more and more difficult to access as the time went on.

I get it. I am healthy. I am happy. I have nothing to complain about.

So, Question Raised: How do people on those little islands or areas that were completely devastated make it? How do they not run out of steam? What long term impacts do events like these leave on those people? How do we all not forget about one another?

4. One way to heal is to help.

In the face of all of this uncertainty, it seemed like most humans just wanted to help one another.

We helped our neighbors, people worked longer shifts, our Indi-ED families and many others organized ways to help people who were worse off than we were.

I’ve heard that one way to ward off anxious thoughts is to think about what you’re grateful for. But if thinking about it isn’t enough-I’d say that taking the action to help actually does help heal ourselves and each other. (*Of course looking out for those that are genuine and not just a “sound business move”.)

Lesson Revisited: Action creates change. Take it.

5. People are the biggest asset. In all things. Period.

We needed sandbags to prepare-city workers filled them.

We bought food and water to stock our pantries-grocery store employees lined the shelves and smiled while escorting us to our cars.

Our power was restored-linemen and women traveled from across the country to do that for us.

We need each other.

Not to mention that in all scenarios-we really just want our family and friends to be safe.

Lesson to Remember: Remember and appreciate the person behind everything.

6. Judgement doesn’t have a place.

Similar to the beginning, everyone is different. We’ve all had different prior experiences. We all bring different life expectations to the table. We all handle things differently in order to cope and live a life we’re happy with.

I’ve accepted and realized that in other areas of life (school, work, relationships, etc.) but this hurricane has reminded me that this is true in all life events and actions.

Staying vs. evacuating, boarding up vs. not, 3 gallons of water per day vs. 5 are all really irrelevant and no one else’s business. They’re individual choices by people from all walks of life doing what they believe is best in that moment during that period of their life. Instead, offer support, listen, and love.

Reminder: Life is short. Do what you love and what’s meaningful and right to you.

7. Denis Phillips is THE MAN!

I don’t do celebrity crushes but if I did, this may be mine!

Denis Phillips is our local weatherman who provided factual updates about Hurricane Irma but more importantly, talked most of our community off the ledge over and over again throughout this storm.

The layout of this post, numbering and dedicating his shout out to this #7, are also odes to him as his #7 was almost always-Don’t freak out. Simple, but powerful.

Hurricane Irma was big and scary and challenges we face in life can feel the same.

But having someone, anyone, even a man on the tv that I’ve never met before share the calming sentiments in the midst of potential devastation was a relief.

Lesson Learned: Say what people need to hear. And when possible, don’t freak out.

8. The #grateful culture could be toxic.

This is a combination of #s 1, 3, 4, & 6 above.

In short, this was terrifying. I am grateful. We need to heal.

I saw a lot of people trying to get back to “normal” quickly. They were immediately #grateful and that was it-back to work.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be thankful or that I wasn’t feeling time slipping away myself. But I am saying that without acknowledging our and others feelings (anxiety, exhaustion, fear, terror, relief, etc.) then we could be doing ourselves a disservice.

One of our wonderful yoga studios reminded me during a class this week.

We did go through things. We did have our adrenaline systems on high alert for a long period of time. We did act differently. We did evacuate. People were affected. If we don’t allow ourselves and one another time to express our honest feelings and to deal with them without judging or thinking poorly of them, “Why are they exhausted? It’s not like they lost their roof like I did!” Then we are not helping anyone.

What if we all looked at one another from a lens of believing that everyone is trying their best but that if they need love and support and we’re able to give it, that we do?

New Goal: Shoot for a #Honest&Supportive culture always and not an #Avoiding&Judgemental one.

I’m a believer that “it is what you make of it”. So I’m doing my best to learn from Hurricane Irma personally and if it helps someone in the process, even better.

Or if all else fails, we tried to help our students process and proceed with the not to be overlooked powerful tool that we recommend to be kept close as well-a little sense of humor.