Messaging Part 1 of 3

Master Observer, Communicator & Redirector are three of my teaching superpowers. None are listed on my resume, but after today I may consider including them.

By listening and observing and then communicating, I can calm a room, change a child’s perception of themselves or a situation, and redirect a negative statement or situation into a positive one in less than a nano-second. That’s superhero fast. How you may ask? With my greatest power, my words.

How I speak to my students is always on the forefront of my mind because I know that there are direct correlations to my students’ feelings and perceptions that link to their successes. If my students feel safe, then they will feel comfortable taking risks and making mistakes which will lead to growth. If they feel loved, then they will respect me even when I have to redirect them which makes the redirection easier. And if they feel encouraged, then they will remain positive even when the work feels challenging which creates a desire to work through the challenges instead of giving up.

It may sound like a lot but some super teachers do it naturally. If you haven’t noticed before, take a look. The next time you’re in a classroom or on a school campus, you’ll probably notice that those teachers who are soft-spoken, have calm students who speak softly in return. Those teachers who are demeaning and threatening in their tone (sadly, they exist), have students who look scared and respond out of fear. Those teachers who are honest and open, have students who are relaxed and comfortable. (You may even see them…GASP…skipping down the halls like happy children! I give those teachers an internal high five when I see them.)

Something else that was driven home to me this week was that parents, whether they know it or not, also have these superpowers.

After meeting with six new families this week who are interested in enrolling their students with Indi-ED next year. I reflected on each of our conversations and what I noticed was that there was a tone and message behind what they each communicated.

I won’t share their specific situations because those details are private. But what I will share is that they came from a variety of school environments. Some homeschooled, some in public schools, and some in private. They also had a variety of concerns with their current schooling option. Feeling like it was not a good fit to address their individual child’s needs, feeling like their child was not challenged, feeling like there was not genuine support, etc. What I found most interesting was that what they openly communicated, I believe will also have a direct impact on their child and their long term success just like what I do in the classroom.

One parent was so honest about their child’s progression that I wanted to hug them in the middle of the conversation. They took ownership of their part and placed no judgment or blame. Their sense of humor, communicated love and acceptance and an understanding that they will get through it. I heard that.

More than one parent shared the details of what made their child unique in such beautiful and elegant ways that I was moved to tears. Love, acceptance, and appreciation was communicated. I heard that.

Other parents were so calm, supportive, and fun-loving around their children that I watched as their little ones communicated in the same manner. I heard that.

What it made me realize is that while these parents were being open and honest with me and may have been communicating negatives about the situations that their children had encountered in the past, all of them communicated either directly or indirectly, love towards their child and determination to do what’s right on their behalf.

Parents, thank you for communicating that, I heard you. But more importantly, so do your children.

I wanted to focus this first post on the power that we as teachers and parents have with the words that we’re choosing to say to our children because we have the control to make them positive messages.

I’m not saying that all teachers have to act the same way or use the exact same ‘teacher talk’. Nor am I saying that parents won’t face challenges with their children. Or even that speaking and reacting in a calm and loving way doesn’t take practice. But what I am saying is that our brain development is more advanced than theirs and we are capable of seeing the bigger picture so it is our responsibility to act accordingly.

They are listening to us. They are looking to us to define situations and their worth until they’re capable of doing so for themselves. Let’s set them up for success. Let’s communicate the positive messages of love, acceptance, and understanding together – it makes a difference.

Speak on superheroes.